Healing the Heart: When Grief Isn’t Just Death, But Distance Too

Sis,

There are seasons in life that don’t just stretch you… they break you open.

This has been that kind of season for me.

Grief didn’t come one way it came in waves. The loss of my father. The loss of my sister. The loss of my mother-in-love. And somewhere in between all of that… the quiet grief of broken relationships. The kind that doesn’t come with flowers, gifts, or condolences but still leaves an ache just the same.

And if I’m honest… I didn’t always know what to say to God.

Because how do you pray when your heart feels like it’s been pulled in too many directions? How do you process when you’re grieving people who passed… and people who are still here?

But what I’m learning day by day, tear by tear is that healing doesn’t always look like being “okay.”

Sometimes healing looks like:

• getting out of bed when your heart feels heavy

• choosing not to become bitter when you have every reason to

• trusting God even when you don’t understand

The Bible says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

And I’ve had to hold onto that tight.

Because there were moments, I felt crushed. Moments I felt abandoned. Moments I questioned people… and even questioned God.

But here’s what I’ve discovered in the middle of the breaking:

God uses the hard moments to grow us

Every tear I cried… He saw it.

Every moment I felt overlooked… He covered me.

Every relationship that fell apart… He used to reveal something in me and something around me.

Not everything that leaves your life is a loss.

Some things are an unveiling.

A necessary separation so your heart can heal in truth, not illusion.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us, “To everything there is a season…”

And this season, for me, has been about healing the heart not hardening it.

I had a choice. I could let this season make me cold, guarded, and closed off…

Or I could allow God to do surgery on my heart.

To remove what was never meant to stay.

To heal what I didn’t even realize was wounded.

To teach me that love… real love… doesn’t manipulate, abandon, or mishandle you.

And I won’t lie it’s been uncomfortable.

Healing always is.

But I’d rather be healed and whole than familiar and broken.

So if you’re in a season like mine where grief and growth are happening at the same time I want you to know this:

You are not forgotten.

You are not alone.

And your heart… even now… is being held by God.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

Healing doesn’t mean you stop missing them.

Healing doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

Healing doesn’t mean it never mattered.

Healing means… it no longer controls you.

And I’m choosing every day to heal.

Not just for me… but for the woman I’m becoming.

Because this season didn’t break me.

It introduced me to a deeper version of myself… and a deeper dependency on God.

And for that… I’m still grateful.