You never know 🙏🏼❤️

Tiha Moore
Sep 20, 2022
6 min read

I keep staring at the girl on the right in this picture. She is between 13-14 years old.... somewhere between 1987-88 ish.

Her hair style is in keeping with the trend of the day and she has a bff she loves to match outfits with.

Those shirts...if I remember right...were Kentucky shirts bought as souvenirs on our trip to the Bluegrass state one summer with the family she was sent to live with.

Those shorts were handmade by her bff Kristina Galouzis’ sweet Mama, Carol. Mama Carol always had her daughter in the cutest clothing...and she always included her bff when she made outfits. ❣️❤️

I keep staring at her eyes. By this time they had taken in so many scenes in vivid detail that I can’t help but wonder where the smile is coming from.

She is ME.

Strange.

So strange to come face to face with a moment in time that you thought you would never step out of.

I don’t remember the picture or the day but I remember the shirts. I remember some of the trip but not much about the time with my friend.

I remember why that smile looks so forced. Because it is.

I was living 2... no 3 different lives.

1. A “normal” middle school girl with a bff she was inseparable with. One was not seen without the other...and they did everything together. They shared everything from clothing...to secrets...well ...almost everything.

2. A girl with a secret to keep. No matter what. Would she be able to keep this baby? She could only dream of holding the life she knew was inside her... within days she would be checked in to the familiar “clinic” in Clarksville, Tennessee where they knew her as “Patty”, HIS 38 year old daughter.

This would be the 2nd, no 3rd baby that she would have to abort in order to keep her Daddy alive and keep the “secret”.

3. A girl with resolve of steel. Her Daddy had raised her to fight from a young age. You don’t let anyone hurt you. You fight, you scream, you do WHATEVER it takes.

She did that.

She FOUGHT.

She PUNCHED.

She used the back of her head to try to break his nose...just like her Daddy taught her.

She got AWAY.

She RAN...and she reminded him of what her Daddy would do to him when he finds out!

But he had a gun and he knew exactly how to make her stop dead in her tracks.

“That’s ok. “Amanda” will do it and if your Daddy darkens my doorstep...I’ll blow his head off.”

“Amanda” was 5.

Her Daddy was her world.

She stopped.

She gave up.

She gave in.

For 3 years.

Those years are a blur and a stand-still all at the same time.

I was raped by my Dad’s best friend for 3 years and taken for so many abortions I can’t remember them all.

My Dad sent me to live with “him” after being hurt on the job. He needed so many surgeries and the hospital wasn’t the place for an 11 year old girl. He would need 24 hour care.

I was a decent student.

I attended pep rallies, dances and roller skated every Friday-Saturday night with my bff.

I loved Lisa, Lisa and the Cult Jam. “Head to Toe” was my favorite song.

I dreamed of being “normal” and having a boyfriend or being asked to prom.

I was in choir and home economics.

And I was always in “his” presence.

He was at every school meeting.

He chaperoned at the skating rink.

He was trusted by the school and the community.

He was seen as noble for taking in a young girl at 56 years old when him and his wife should be traveling and enjoying retirement life.

He was surrounded by young girls everywhere he went because he never let me out of his sight.

HE was my Dad’s “BEST” friend.

Parents....quit trusting so easily!

He was trusted.

He was TRUSTED.

Everyone who has access to children...shouldn’t have access.

Just because kids are always around them...doesn’t mean they are “good” with them.

The trust that he had...paralyzed me more than the gun that he carried.

Read that AGAIN! 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼

WHO would believe me?

And then there was my Daddy. He couldn’t have overpowered my Daddy on his BEST day...but that gun could.

The day would come when he and my Daddy would meet again...and I would see him for the coward he really was...but it would take almost 4 years and by then I was:

Bitter

Broken

Full of rage

Addicted to marijuana , cigarettes and alcohol.

And alone.

For 16 years I would fight and drink. Drink and fight. Smoke marijuana to “calm” my nerves and then drink again.

Miraculously, I would have 4 beautiful, healthy children.

Unfortunately, they did not have a healthy mother.

I tried to be the best Mom I could be..but the alcohol or the rage won every time.

I gave up on being a parent at all... figuring my children were better off with their fathers.

Yes... FATHERS. 3 of them.

I finally gave in and dove headlong into a tailspin of self destruction.

I was never going to be a decent human being and no one was ever going to want ME.

Until......

Luke 15:4

What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, does not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he finds it?

And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, REJOICING!

In 2003 that tailspin ended and I looked UP.

2 of my children were no longer with me.

My 2 sons living with me were not getting the nurturing and guidance they deserved.

Both of my parents were gone.

I was 105 soaking wet...unable to function without some form of recreational “help”.

No one wanted anything to do with me.

Not family.

Not friends.

Not even me.

Why am I sharing all of this ?

Because this is where MY LIFE was supposed to end... BUT GOD stepped in!

Yes GOD! 🙌🏽

Not a higher power.... GOD.

I AM

The King of Kings

The Lord of Lords

The Beginning AND The End

Jehovah Nisi

The author and finisher of my faith!

My salvation and my redeemer!

The LOVER of my soul!

My FATHER

My LORD

AND YES...

My DELIVERER.

HE stepped in...and delivered me because...He saw me as PRECIOUS, undefiled and HIS.

Psalm 18:19

HE brought me forth also, into a large place.

He delivered ME because He delights in ME.

It took me years to wrap my head around HIM...the Lord of all Creation...delighting in ME...but when I did...it changed my whole life!

You see .... He never authorized or approved of ANY of the things that happened to me.

NOT ONE.

And the longer I walk with Him, leaning on and trusting Him....I know beyond a shadow of a doubt He was WITH me the entire time. ❣️🙌🏽

Today, I love Him more than I ever have and yearn to love Him more.

I stand in AWE...knowing I should be dead or insane. I’m NEITHER!! 🙌🏽❣️

I’m WHOLE.

I’m HEALED emotionally and physically.

I’m RESTORED.

I’m reunited with ALL of my children and I pray for their fathers to this day.

I’m a minister of the gospel....not because of my credentials...but because of the calling of God in my life.

Someone asked me once:

“Misty, don’t you feel like you were robbed of your childhood?”

And honestly...sometimes I do.

But when I feel that way I run to HIM...and I come back KNOWING that He wastes NOTHING.... and the thing that was meant to destroy ME...is being used to RESCUE others.

So no.

I wasn’t robbed.

I was SURROUNDED and carefully watched.... UNTIL...the moment of my surrender....where my life.... ALL of it...

Past

Present

AND

Future...went into HIS hands.

What was once terrible... is now TRIUMPHANT.

What was once horrifying....is now HOLY.

What was once Debilitating ...is now LIBERATING as my testimony! Because:

Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for GOOD to those who love God, to those who are called according to HIS purpose.

So, if you find yourself rehearsing all of the terrible things that have happened to you. Let me encourage you today.

THAT is how they look in YOUR hands and in your control.

If you are reading this, you have survived EVERY one of your worst days!

You’ve tried everything else.

Why not SWITCH hands??

That verse ( Romans 8:28 ) doesn’t say that all things started OUT good... but it clearly says that they CAN work for your good.... when you answer the call of God in your life...live according to His purpose...and LOVE Him. ❣️🙌🏽

I’ve never regretted surrendering to God. The only regret I have is not doing it sooner.

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